I love celebrating Thanksgiving Day. I’ve always, for as long as I can remember, enjoyed the Thanksgiving holiday. When raising my children, I tried to do a number of activities, like picking quotes out of a pumpkin that were about being thankful. This week I read one that I would probably do, if the children were still small. You print little pieces of paper that go into crescent rolls – works like a fortune cookie, but the papers are all about gratitude. The children can even help make the sayings; e.g. I am thankful for baby sister.

I’ve tried to be a grateful person over the years, but four years and three months ago, gratitude took on an entirely new meaning for me. My son died on August 26, 2010. To say that losing a son is challenging is an enormous understatement. I’ve read about other mothers that went to their beds for weeks, months and years. It’s not an easy thing to live through. If any of you out there in cyberspace have gone through this tragedy, my heart and good thoughts go out to you. But today I want to share something about my personal recovery of losing him to death.

Not long after his death, my mind was touched with the thought that I should keep my focus on gratitude, and not on loss. What did I have to lose? I did it. And as I’ve told others, some who have suffered similar losses, it was like magic. I won’t tell you that I was not still at times filled with an overwhelming feeling of sadness and loss. But I will tell you that I could function. I could keep going on. I could continue to do the things that I generally did. Since that time, gratitude has become my dear close friend.

Every year during November I write something about gratitude; I’ve obviously decided that this year will not be the exception. The following are some quotes that have touched me this year:

• I still believe that my very favorite quote is from Cicero, the Roman philosopher, who was born about 100 years before Jesus Christ. One of the many things that he wrote during his short life of only 37 years is the following: “Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others.” If we strive to be virtuous individuals this is a good place to start.
• Gerald Good, a rehabilitation counselor said: "If you want to turn your life around, try thankfulness. It will change your life mightily." This worked for me.
• Robert Emmons, director of research lab at UC Davis studying gratitude. “Gratitude heals, energizes, and transforms lives… Scientists are latecomers to the concept of gratitude. Religions and philosophies have long embraced gratitude as an indispensable manifestation of virtue, and an integral component of health, wholeness, and well-being. Through conducting highly focused, cutting-edge studies on the nature of gratitude, its causes, and its consequences, we hope to shed important scientific light on this important concept.” I applaud research maybe they’re figure out why and how gratitude is so powerful.
• "Things turn out best for people who make the best of the way things turn out."

John Wooden (legendary UCLA basketball coach) Frequently we have to work with the way things are; we may as well just make the best of it.

• Naomi Williams (author) said: "It is impossible to feel grateful and depressed in the same moment." I don’t know if there is clinical proof for this one, but it is surely worth a try, if you suffer from depression. Even if it only works for an occasional ‘sad’ time, it’s worth trying.
• Even Willie Nelson (country music singer, songwriter, actor, poet, activist) has had a positive experience with gratitude. He said; "When I started counting my blessings, my whole life turned around."
• Epictetus (Greek Philosopher) said; "He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has." This one can work both for things we have not been blessed with as well as things/persons we have lost.
• Michael Josephson (lawyer and founder of an institute of ethics) said; "The world has enough beautiful mountains and meadows, spectacular skies and serene lakes. It has enough lush forests, flowered fields, and sandy beaches. It has plenty of stars and the promise of a new sunrise and sunset every day. What the world needs more of are people to appreciate and enjoy it." Maybe we can look around a little this holiday and fill our hearts and minds with gratitude.

Sometimes having gratitude is difficult – especially when tragedy affects us. I will share with you, that during my big experiment with gratitude, I focused on what I had enjoyed. I focused on my son’s unique personality, his laughter and the warm memories. It proved to me that gratitude is powerful. It saved me from the depths of grief. I am now a disciple of gratitude. I’m certainly far from perfected in this virtue, but whenever I remind myself of the many things I’m grateful for, I am blessed. I send my warmest wishes for a beautiful Thanksgiving holiday season.